Don’t Let the 13th Cheque Get You Twisted

The end of November is traditional the time when some companies and employers in Zimbabwe give their workers the famous thirteenth cheque better known as bonus.

Not everyone gets a bonus but the end of the year is generally an exciting time for most people. Zimbabweans love holidays and we sure know how to have a good time out of nothing.

A lot of interesting things also happen during bonus time, with the thirteenth cheque some people get to buy that flat screen TV they have always wanted, paint the house, or maybe marry the woman of their dreams.

Yet not everyone is sensible and use their money wisely, in fact almost always men are the culprits when it comes to recklessness with their bonus. While women buy plates dishes blankets for the house some misguided dudes will abandon their families for a whole month, run off with some random woman, only to return when January disease creeps in.

There are those men who will get their bonus but choose not to declare it at home opting to use the money to pay off the beer debt they raked up in anticipation of their bonus. Some will choose to use the money to marry their smallhouse.

Here’s a example of  a man i know once gave to his homemaker wife who knows little about how he gets paid.  He had spent all his money at the bar. True story.

Man walks into to the house drunk-

Husband: (shaking his head) Mai Chenge, this year we won’t buy that cow we wanted.

Wife: How so? What happened? Were you robbed of the bonus you were meant to bring home today?

Husband: No I wasn’t robbed

Wife: So what happened?

Husband: It’s the computer at work; my name was jumped by the computer so no bonus for me this year.

Wife: jumped?

Husband: yes my name was jumped so I didn’t get my bonus, I think that little girl from HR hates me.

Wife: don’t worry I will just have to work harder with my vegetables at the market god will protect us.

Kind of sad isn’t it.

  • Anon

    I doubt that last bit there is a true story

  • Seriously?? the amount of stupid excuses men come with are astounding. if i had a dollar for every lousy excuse i’d be bleeding rich