Friends With Benefits: Pros and Cons
So relationships have evolved immensely since Adam was told by God that there was no need to keep looking at the animals funny. He had found him a squeeze and her name was to be called Eve. That was straight forward. Dude, there is your chick. Live with her until you die.
Then after a couple of generations there came men who would have thousands of wives and concubines. Soon there was more evolution and now we have the excuse. The friends with benefits. How that works exactly is that you have someone who is your friend but they occasionally release your sexual frustration and you theirs. The relationship is not romantic. It has the sum-total emotion of a rock at Matopos.
A lot of people consider this harmless fun and a good way to stay active without the baggage. It is convenient because the person has very little in expectation of substance. Also it is easier to have the sex because there is no performance anxiety at play. Did I also add the fact that there are no strings attached. I think both sentences above stress that point.
Except that it creates new baggage. Because human beings are not rocks at the Matopos, the Great Dyke or in your backyard for that matter, someone is going to feel something. Further to that someone is going to feel something that is not necessarily being felt by the other person. And when feelings are not synchronised someone is going to cry.
Also this is a fact. Your future relationships are all at risk. If your current lover finds out that you messed about with one of your friends, instant jealousy. Let’s face it, if the shoe was on the other foot then you would think the same. And forget the friendship, it is gone. A boundary was crossed and the end of the road is here. That friendship is gone.
So then how do you avoid some of these pitfalls. Well, define the boundaries. And don’t toss words around like they were confetti at ghetto wedding. The use of the word love is a bad bad very bad and horrible idea. Did I also mention that it just isn’t on? That just turns the whole thing into a polished turd.
It is a lot better to be friends with benefits with someone who isn’t a close friend because they can easily be discarded once the sex is not on. That deals with the jealous lover bit. Sound evil? of course it is a bit but do you really want to deal with the alternative?
All in all it is an area that is a bit murky and it is trial and error. There is no one formula that works but there are things that do not work.
Of course there is chance you could end up marrying your friend with benefits. And then all that other stuff won’t matter so much.