Is the Current Marriage Model Outdated?
I am sure years ago and by years ago I mean yeeeaaaarrrsss ago if you asked a woman if she was ever going to get married the default answer was yes. It was not even something she thought about it. That was just it. End of story and let’s move on.
I have asked a few women who are at an age when most young people would at worst case be in the final moments of planning a life shacked up with a bloke whether they ever saw themselves married and almost all said… not really, but it could happen.
Not really but it could happen.
Not any of these girls are commitment phobes. To the contrary. Most of them are involved in relationships which they will describe as happy. When pressed about their current relationship and the possibility of that ending in marriage some simply shrugged. Others laughed it off, albeit nervously and a few surprisingly said they could not imagine spending their lives with their current partner. And so why where they with him? The sex was the common answer and also that being single can be lonely.
I thought to myself, When did the world get so cynical or has the world and its habits simply outlived the age-old institution. Is the current model faulty? If so then what is the alternative.
In 2007, a German conservative politician Gabriele Pauli suggested a 7 year limit on marriage with an option to renew. Many people may have called her crazy but when you think of it, at the end of the day, marriage is simply a contract. The fact that it is so binding however makes it seem a unrealistic.
Whereas in olden days the contract was negotiated by a wider group of people and the choicest of cuts on both sides. The sense of duty had already been instilled so it was a lot easier. Yes it had its challenges because the one chosen for you wasn’t always the one you chose.
Nowadays we go out into a world full of strangers. We pick and choose what we think is the best of the lot out there. Dumb luck decides what is supposed to be the most important decision in your life. And sometimes due to circumstances(such as pregnancy) we might not even marry the one we like. But that sense of duty when it comes to that contract is now a rare commodity.
The religious lot will be up in arms with these sentiments because then they will say if you don’t have ‘God’ in your marriage then in essence you are done for. Well a lot of those god-botherers claim He is in their marriages but are happy to have affairs with sisters both heathen and otherwise.
Fact of the matter is humans have evolved emotionally and socially. The parameters have changed. Our expectations are different.
So why should we expect something that fundamental to remain the same?