Chinese Geeks Invent Automatic ‘Sperm Collecting Machine’

A bunch of Chinese geeks have invented a machine that will see men who donate sperm have their sperm collected by a machine.

Yes, in a departure from the good old-fashioned DIY version of things, this machine will have a sperm collection pipe while playing porn and is adjustable to suit the… errr… person’s height. Not only that users will be able to adjust the machine’s frequency, speed, force, and temperature. The person however has to have a condom on.

So far the machine has been used for 6 months by some 10 men a day at Zhengzhou Central Hospital.

The geeks still maintain the best way to donate is through masturbation. However this machine takes care of men who have difficulty masturbating.

We think there is someone out there who is thinking of buying the machine, just because. Yeah, there is one fella who will get for the pleasure he figures it will bring him. Sitting alone, well standing, in a room in his loft in the Vumba Mountains he will take time to, well, you know, and then get back to being sad and lonely.

Or, he could just make a trip to a sperm bank more often than others.