Zimbabwe’s Case Of The Maid And The Husband

There is this couple in Harare; he a chemical engineer, she a dentist; they have two lovely children and a dog.

The dentist wife sometimes works late shifts at Parirenyatwa Hospital. He without fail, faithfully rushes home after work to play with his toddlers girls. Enter the maid or Sisi; she is a 20 year old who spends the day between household chores, the children, night school and learning to speak like her favourite American television stars on DSTV. In fact her good command of English is what got her the job “so that she can speak English properly with the kids” She’s young well groomed and actually makes good conversation.

I’m sure from this point on you already know where I am going with this, but basically the story ends with the dentist wife walking into her bedroom to find her engineer  husband, pants down and coped up in a love nest with the maid.

You would think that the practise of doing rehearsals with the maid is one which ended in the 1980s.In the 1980s it would have been forgivable because some men were a little bit excited by our new found freedom and basically anything that moved was a target. However, it seems the practise is still very well with us.

Even in the affluent neighbourhoods of Zimbabwe, it’s happening. Just yesterday I heard that a prominent businessman I know impregnated his maid. I’m like how?

Some women may think that just because she was educated and has a college degree or is a professional or has her nails and hair done every week, wears Chanel No 5 perfume, and dons clothes from Dubai, she is all the woman he needs. These woman think they are no competition for the maid.

Think again. Maid competition is  real. In fact some maids take better care of themselves given their limited resources. Plus they have loads of energy; never have migraines, never tired.

If you still have doubts I shall at this point refer you to the case of one Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Terminator-cum-Gavernor gave it to his maid, right under his wife’s nose. He has a 15 year old son as proof. Im sure his wife would look at the maid and say, “no …never… she is no match”

Men are very functional beings; you know, simple sadza ne nyama will do. When it comes to the cracks of the matter all the frills are just extras that a man can do without.

What I would like to know however, is how does a man actually make the advances on the maid? Like how exactly do you start processing’s.   Do you buy her chocolates or flowers or maybe its Jiggies?  And if this is the case how do you move from Jiggies to jigging?

Ps: Those that don’t know, Jiggies are a cheap snack eaten in Zimbabwe.

  • Beginoperation

    Jigging! Hhahaha!! Haven’t heard that word in a while. I mean hey, maids are actually super-energetic! And if she speaks english…what is a man to do?? Hahahahaha!! Ok seriously though, this is sad… What’s even more sad is that women haven’t figured out that it means all those “extras” are just aesthetic.. Better hair doesn’t add to attraction, the dude’s married you already!! He doesn’t need to mack on you honey.. When the extras come at the expense of the basics…sorry, the dude will look for basics!
    Girl, get the hair, the nails, the clothes…then get the pot out and make him straight up sadza nenyama! Or else you’re just another expense! BAM!!!

    • Awesome. Interesting response you have there.

    • Cde Amai Ethan

      so there is something wrong with looking your best for yourself and for your man? Looking good does not stop you from being a good wife and a good mother. If this woman was not working I would maybe understand the whole “whats a man to do” nonsense. But she is working her ass off for the family too. AAh shame. most women are going to work 8-5, coming home to cook that sadza and nyama and then some, giving 100% chikapa chakapenga, doing laundry and still finding time for the kids and still a nigger will cheat,. saka moti vakadzi vane problem, vakadzi havasati vabata pekuchengeta murume? haiwawo chihure kana munhu angori nemweya wacho ndozvaari.

  • Ben10

    this is interesting.. fine i’l add my two cents..
    its a reality. i ‘overheard’ women round the good ol’ workplace sayin simplicity is all a man needs… if ur maid cooks cleans washes ur man’s damn underwear then who is he married to… u or ur wife? so they all agreed that their best plan for ‘survival’ is to cook at least dinner for hubby.
    i thot this strange being from a younger age group until i realised the fact that she does basically become like a second wife all chores plus juggling the kids? and wify still has a headache after spending all day in ur air-conditioned office??!!… so what special thing have wife done that the maid cannot??? (this includes jigging)
    P/S
    -its not just english skills that become the ’cause’ even age complexion hahaha body type size weight– oh wait… guess men really arn’t that picky!

    • and this is the one fundamental that the modern woman doesnt get when it comes to keeping a man.

    • Cde Amai Ethan

      So why get married? why not just hire a bloody maid? that he can screw on a regular? This whole thing yekuti people want to see wives as slaves is just stupid. Why do we need the maid washing our underwear, we wore it lets wash it. US! If you are going to be the man and make sure you bring home the bacon, then damn straight i will be 100% every day and we wont need a maid and you would still go and cheat on me with a woman you work with. Marriage is not about keeping a man, its about team effort, because we both have the ability to cheat. You do not marry for housework, you might as well just hire one and spare yourself the hussle of lobola. nxa!`

    • Wayfarer

      It isn’t about men not being ‘that picky’, unless you’re suggesting that for women as a species of human, only certain of them deserve to be picked as sexual partners by men while others do not deserve consideration. In which case we see how inaccurate that view is, since reality proves Tanga wekwaSando’s lyrics true – ‘Moyo muti…hpana asina wake’. Everyone is eligible in this game, only the prejudiced who count themselves above others believe they deserve attention ahead of others whom they see as undeserving. That is why it is that much harder for them when the folly of their prejudiced view is exposed by an encounter such as is described in the story above when they find their man in a fit of passion with the maid!

  • CM

    “Think again. Maid competition is real” — they are married. There shouldn’t be competition from the maid or anyone else. A person cheating is not indicative of inadequacy on the one cheated on but an inability of the one who cheats to communicate the fact that they are not getting what they want or really just cheating because they feel like it. It not like this man ddnt know his wife’s dentist obligations when he married her and so if he wasnt about that life he shouldn’t have been with her to start. Part of the issue is placing the blame on a woman when a man cheats — whether implied or mentioned outright. Coz if this story had been about a woman cheating with the garden boy who does all the DIY round the house I doubt the tone of this article or these comments would be the same. Jussayin

    • This article is not meant to be represent every aspect of cheating. The most common error we make is that any judgement call is devoid of context. In this instance the context was created and is not meant to encompass any other situation that may arise.

    • Cde Amai Ethan

      I totally agree with you. I was like whaat to this statement

      “Plus they have loads of energy; never have migraines, never tired.”

      Assuming that maids are robots that are always pumped and never get sick. Men will cheat regardless of who they will cheat on you with. Its not easy being a working mum, and i think its total nonsense that hee maids are competition, snap, everyone is bloody competition. Men are not animals with no reason or emotion, if he wants to cheat he will cheat finish and klaar, its got nothing to do with the person being cheat on. Women can still cheat too, lets not forget

  • Wayfarer

    Both men and women cheat and the issue of who they cheat with is immaterial – it only becomes an issue if they cheat with a non-human. It is mere social prejudice to view human beings in terms of economic class, so that you should view the maid or garden boy by their economic stations and not by their personalities and essence as human beings. A maid is a woman and garden boy, a man – simples. Why not factor in the possibility that as a human being, that garden boy or that maid is a pleasant and charming and sexually attractive person? Once you begin from there, you’re able to see reality without misleading rose-tinted glasses. As to how one moves to start a relationship with a maid, well, how does one start it with any woman? There is no formula for approaching a woman, each one is different.

  • me

    jiggies are a cheap snack in Zimbabwe. actually jiggies are a south african product. they are crackers, a type of snack. snacks are meant to be affordable. dont degrade us by calling us cheap.mxm