So… public masturbation is no longer a crime in Italy
Italy’s Supreme Court has shown some testicular fortitude and ruled that masturbation in public is no longer a crime.
…. as long as it is not in the presence of minors.
A 69 year-old man was sentenced to three months and a fine of $3,600 after choking the chicken in front of students at the University of Catania.
While appealing the severity of the punishment the highest court ruled that the act was no longer a crime after a new law was passed last year.
So the 69 year-old (why the age 69 though?) can ‘shake hands with the unemployed’ as much as he likes as long as there are no kids around.
Why Italy thinks milking the serpent in public cannot be seen indecency is weird. It seems as if in the quest for liberal spaces and accommodating everyone we have forgotten to be decent. We are not sure if this is supposed to encourage tourism as we are pretty sure noone normal is flying into Rome to make the bald man cry.
We’d recommend Italy got a spanking but they would probably reserve it for a monkey… (See what we did there?)
And think of weirdos engaging in a five finger knuckle shuffle in front of women randomly. Gosh no.
More worryingly, the number of different terms for masturbation that we know.