How To Start A Church And Make Money

What we must get clear is that there is a distinct difference between church and spirituality. Spirituality is the unadulterated quest for meaning. Religion is how it is packaged.

Yesterday, I posed a question on my Facebook page after watching an episode of Law And Order:

If you had the resources, would you start your own church?

The answers mostly leaned towards NO but mostly for religious reasons. One said that they would do so if they didn’t believe in God. Other than that it was a master-stroke in entrepreneurship.

One gave us a great way to start a church and when you look at it, it is genius. It is not original but it is genius

  1. Visit a foreign land make sure 100% of your friends know you are going to that country
  2. While you are there, get a few details (very personal) about say 5 people
  3. Tell people to wear “holy colours” (watch how many wear white) to your church (see thru – to get the colour of the under wear)
  4. Brand yourself using some flowery term. Church of the Living’s Eternal Blessings of the Sun’s Spotless Mind. OK maybe not that, but you get the point.
  5. Make sure you give them a mixture of what they want to hear and what you call tough love
  6. Then preach that in order to receive, they must give. They reap what they sow. If they do not give then they will not receive.
  7. Read psychology books and tell people to stop hanging out with their family and friends who do not come to the church.
  8. Hire a CEO, a couple of marketers who will all be referred to as Pastor So-and-So. These must be close-knit and always clothed in suits.
  9. If you can pull it of ‘heal’ a few people.
  10. Then watch the money pouring in.
  11. Buy yourself an few luxury items and tell your flock that it is because you gave your all to God that you are blessed and then see people give their very last bit.
  12. Occasionally, like the corporate you are, give back to the community.

Would I start a church? No. Not because I fear divine wrath but because exploiting the masses on that level is just plain wrong. You know that you are a big con-artist but you sell them a dream that doesn’t exist.

Now I am not saying that all churches do that – before the Bible bashers get at me. I am just saying that there are a lot of really ugly things going on that, well, you don’t really want to talk about them, do you?

So if you don’t care much for the risk of possible eternal damnation and want the money, cars, sex, clothes, drugs –  sounds like a rockstar life doesn’t it? –  then by all means start your church, and make money!

  • Liscious

    A church is a business venture like any other….except its tax free. these guys sell people pies in the sky (for tomorrow that never comes) while they benefit where it matters the most….in the here and now. isnt it also interesting how most of these churches take universal truths and mix them with dogma and sell them to people as if the church has a copyright on these universal principles. it doesn’t matter what you believe in life(religious-wise) in life, if you strive for something, u will achieve etc etc

  • The Anointed One

    You forgot to say call yourself “prophet” and have a holy name that defines your divine powers….

  • II Timothy 4:3: For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;

    Titus 1:11: Whose mouths must be stopped, who subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre’s sake.

  • Heisenberg

    #9 killed the hell outta me