Why Men Pull Away In Relationships And What You Can Do About It
This story was originally published on www.larrykwirirayi.com
I have come across myriads of women who have asked me why it is that when things are going so swimmingly well, the guy suddenly buggers off.
The answer is a lot simpler than many people would like to imagine. Women in successful relationships will tell you that the key was to tame the beast and not defeat. Know for one fact that the only thing then boys want to be when they grow up is to become men. That the man will be a pilot, a DJ at Red Fox and sells airtime at the corner is just how that manhood manifests itself.
So when a man feels like he is being defeated he pulls away. He no longer feels he has control and that he has to cater to the whims of said woman. Change in his life must be incremental. It must not be sudden. A sudden change will be a shock to his system and yours.
Even with the increments there will be many scars and bite marks. There will be a lot of tears. You might nag and get your way today but know that you are slowly pushing him away.
You must know that you are his entire support system. When he feels sad, happy, angry and all that other stuff, the one person he expects to understand him is you. Did you think it was his boys? Wrong. You are the one. He can’t go and have a cry with them at the gym. You are the one who makes him feel like a man. When you take that away from him, then he loses that support system. When that is gone he gets confused and goes for a walkabout.
So much like a mother, make him feel proud, make him feel cared for. Tell him that you believe in him. Even when you talk about those really difficult issues, don’t be condescending. If you belittle him, there is every chance that there is some woman out there, who is looking at the man in him and thinking, why is he so unhappy and how can I steal him from the woman who does that to him? How does she know? She listens to him bitch about you.
Knowing all this means then when you have a rough patch, you can make it, together.