Who Wants To Marry a Virgin?

So for some reason men want to marry a virgin. They want the fantasy marriage. They want to have been the first to poke a hole in the hole that is her unmentionables. It is a trophy.

I think that is a load of cow dung to be honest. I can see the reason behind it all. She is going to be the mother of your kid so you don’t really want her to have been parking space for John, Tobias, Tindo,Thabiso or Chipo’s tongue for that matter. It just makes you squeal doesn’t it?

That said, the problem is that men want to have their cake and eat it. It is all very well to drive down the range, perfecting their stroke at every hole and then frown when a woman handles any pitchfork she feels like having a go at.

Look, I am not saying for those who want to wait until they get married – like my sister 🙂 – are full of it. It means you have a lot less of the headaches about whatever it is that you are avoiding but to be honest, does it change the price of tea in the Eastern Highlands? I mean I am not walking about hitting on girls to marry because they look like virgins.

Also, I would like to think that after working so hard on my skills to satisfy the woman I would have to spend the rest of my life with, that she would have put some time in (preferrably not as much as mine)  to make sure she can satisfy me too. Not that the virgin can’t learn but it is a bit like you getting into partnership with someone in a baking company and you have to explain to them what flour is. They will learn but surely they will derive more pleasure from it all than you do until they become experts. Just imagine how a virgin will react when you call her a dirty little bitch in bed. She will run out of the room in tears and you will not be seeing that bit for a while.

To be honest, the whole virgin thing is one big con made by some dude, who wanted to con people into doing something or the other. Probably was a misogynist as well. Society just judges people by their sexual history too much and more-so women. So when someone says they are a virgin, they are given a pass by people who are don’t even remember what that even feels like.

I am sure if you ask a man, deep down inside if he would like to marry a virgin and you promise – not pinky promise though – that you won’t tell a soul, he will tell you that he doesn’t fancy one.

Come to think of it, if the men want ‘untouched’ and  ‘pure’ women, who are the men sleeping with?