Dude, She Is Buying This Valentine’s Day!

So Valentine’s day is upon us and the only reason men remember it is because we have to spend money. You know what the means. Loads of advertising and invitations to have free counselling and testing for couples at the New Start Center (Does anyone go for that?).

But wait. This year is a leap year which means she is buying. No don’t let her fool you. She is the one getting you a ridiculous present  that you are going to pretend to like. Yes, it means that dodgy pink shirt that you wear when you go out alone so that all the women know that you are taken. Otherwise, why else would you wear a pink shirt right? Unless… No we will not get into that!

If you haven’t learnt the art of hinting, which she has locked down, then it is too late now. Chances is that pink shirt is already at home plus some cologne that whose name you have never heard of. Right now be prepared for  anything, that you will pay for when her birthday comes but, hey it is what it is right? And when we say anything we mean anything. We know some unfortunate fella whose woman proposed to her on Valentine’s day. So today could be your last day of freedom.

Fact must remain fellas that tomorrow the only day in 4 years when you are not expected to pay for anything. Unless she caught you with her sister, and best friend in a threesome then you will have a lot of begging to do. If she still wants you to buy her anything after that, then you might as well hook up with her mom. But I digress.

The key really is to not blink. He who blinks first loses. Make sure you create no expectation about tomorrow. Be loving and make her feel undeserving of your attention. She uses this on you, so why not use it on her. It works on you right?

Do not have a present in reserve. She can smell fear when she sees it and when you might buckle. And when I look around I see a lot of Didier Drogbas and Asamoah Gyans –  a bunch of a bottlers.

That said, when you get the present, smile. Pretend it is the thing you always wanted. She thought about it and she made an effort and that is what counts. When you bought  one last year you didn’t really put much thought into it. In fact she put the thoughts into your head and got what she wanted.

It’s not her fault you don’t know how these things work. If you flunk, don’t worry. 2016 is not that far.