How To Celebrate Bachelor’s Day
A couple of hundred years ago, people didn’t have anything to do with their time. That is why they spent so much time making sure they created customs which future generations(i.e. you and I) would have to suffer for.
So it happened that they created an extra day every end of February and they didn’t just leave it at calling it a Leap Year. No way. That was too easy. They went and named it Bachelor’s Day.
Now there are two schools of thought about what this day was about.
- That was the only day that a woman was allowed to propose to a man. If he turned her down then he would have to buy her twelve pairs of gloves so that she could hide the fact that she didn’t have a ring for a while. And it was the law!
- That was the only day on which a woman was not allowed to propose to a man. If he turned her down he didn’t have to be romantic about it either. That was the only day that he could take a break from being romantic.
We however figure that you are not likely to be able to explain to a woman why you turned her down this year and twelve pairs of gloves suddenly appearing at her workplace or the tuck-shop where she spends her day.
On the other hand this is the time when you make what you do today about you. It is imperative that you have date. A date is an absolute necessity unless your date is physically attached to your wrist (some people might get this one).
When you have that date, so that everyone is on the same page, you have to explain to her what today is about. She is not an important part of this equation. In fact she is an accessory.
When you buy the beverages, skip the ciders(we don’t think you should be doing ciders anyway). Buy your favourite alcoholic beverage. And it must be real, manly, bachelor-type alcohol.
Invite a couple of your bachelor mates to the pad. And they absolutely and we mean absolutely have to have dates. Who knows what will happen at the party? You don’t want one of those chaps leering about and trying to have a go at someone else’s date. We all have that one friend who is that dodgy. Also invite a few extra girls over. You know where I am going with this.
Now if you do end up with two or three girls when your dazed friends have somehow found their way home – or to Foxy Wednesdays at Red Fox – don’t be afraid. This is Bachelor’s Day so you have to do the things Bachelor’s Day way.
At this point the entertainment must be in your room. This means bring all the drinks and whatever floats your boat to your room. Treat this like your second birthday – unless your birthday is today then you just call it a birthday on top of a birthday.
After that, well consult this guide we have to… errr.. having a threesome.
You better make use of it. This day comes once every four years and there is nothing that says you will be a Bachelor next time it comes around.