10 things you should do to get influential in Zim. And 10 others that will make you less so…

This is the Carl Joshua Ncube guide for 2017 if you want to be an influential Zimbabwean.

Please note that having 50% of the qualities below will definately guarantee you get onto the list. People have been asking how do you get on the list…well here is some tips

1. You should have been born no earlier than 1976
2. Pole dancing will increase your scores
3. Telling the President off in a Facebook video
4. Money lots of it
5. Facilitate many NGO workshops
6. Be on a few red carpets
7. Post some really long shit on facebook regularly
8. A sex tape will definitely help
9. Speak on behalf of any organ of the ruling party
10. Have a few viral videos

ALSO READ:
100 Most Influential Zimbabweans under 40 in 2016

And then here are 10 things that will make you less influential

1. If you are from Bulawayo
2. If you retire from Swimming at the olympics
3. If you don’t attend awards ceremonies (I mean all of them)
4. If you seek asylum in the USA for any reason
5. If you hate Jah Prayzah music
6. If you don’t follow back or retweet
7. When you turn 40
8. If you pose funny on red carpets
9. If you are related to the  first family.
10. Using the #OurFlag hashtag for any reason

Add some of your own below and don’t forget the Carl Joshua Ncube Awards at Nesbitt Castle 27 December to celebrate the 2016 year!!!!