EIGHT Joan Rivers Quotes That Can Still Make You Smile, Nod And Think

American comedy legend Joan Rivers passed away on Thursday, her daughter confirmed.

Joan Rivers PIC: Mamamia.co.au

Joan Rivers PIC: Mamamia.co.au

We decided to share eight (because he was 81) one-liners from her illustrious career  that make even the fellas guarding at state house smile.

  1. I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
  2. I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
  3. Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I’m unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I’m angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I’m very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
  4. People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
  5. It’s so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up who.
  6. I’ve learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they’re signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss – no matter what they tell you.
  7. I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
  8. I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive. Things are happening.

Yes we said 8, but we will add an extra one because, well, we can. She said:

I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.

She often said she wished she had a twin so that she could see what she looked like without makeup or that she had so much plastic surgery that her when she died she wanted to be donated to Tupperware.

Rivers or Joan as her fans would call her was a one-off, cutting as she was self-deprecating, a goddess of the laughs able to mix with the ruffians in the smoke-filled back-alley bars.

A few weeks ago, at the end of Fashion Police, she paid tribute to her old friend Robbie Williams who committed suicide, not knowing she was on her way out too.

At times she made us feel uncomfortable and people said she went to far, but all in all, she lived life honestly.

Goodbye, Joan.

With information from BrainyQuotes.com

  • Patience-Dj Tuhwe

    Was she a he or a she hmmmm

  • Marcus Wolf

    Nice list. I’ll raise you this most recent one…Speaking on Gaza, “They started it. We now don’t count who’s dead. You’re dead, you deserve to be dead.”

  • slntknght(silent knight)

    the one i like d the most was the one about Miley Cyrus’ twerking incident.. she said Miley looked liked she had more drugs in a her than WalGreens(Walmart phamarcy)