Ammara Brown Reveals Pain After Losing Her Grandmother
Songstress Ammara Brown has revealed the pain she felt after recently losing her grandmother.
This is her expression in her own words
As I tucked my granny, Nina, into bed the other night, she said, “ Mara, I’m not going to make it this time.” Even the Dr. couldn’t comfort me, as my grandmother’s words began to haunt me. We exchanged ‘I love yous, Salaams, and as I walked around the house, turning off the lights, I thought about the cycle of life… my spirit began to sink.
I woke up early Thursday morning, miserable. I had dreamt my dad was alive and woke up to remember otherwise. It took me a few hours to muster up the strength to get out of bed. I remembered, eventually, we had a video shoot in a few hours. Nina and I had a few regular chats, and she seemed perfectly fine. I soon rushed out to work, but nothing seemed to be going right…
The maid called me 2 hrs later “ MARA, NINA IS NOT TALKING!”. “IS SHE BREATHING?!” I screamed, suddenly feeling a wave of heat coming over me. “I DON’T KNOW!” she said. I hung up…
As I rushed home, I relived the fear I had, of God taking my mother, father, aunt, and Chiwoniso away, in the past 2 years. I dared not ask if he would do this to me again… because I know now; He is Most Powerful.
In 15 minutes I was storming through the gate with my uncle, manager, best friend, and ambulance behind me. I found the Dr. above my grandmother… He soon told me she was gone…
As I screamed in agony, every beautiful memory I had of my Nina came flooding towards me, and all the grief from my parents deaths came rushing over me again… All I could do was scream “NO…”.
They called her the Iron Lady. I imagine it’s because she had a fist of iron, when it came to her work, while she had a heart of gold when it came to her family. After my parents divorced, she took me, and my baby sister in. I was 4 and Shahla 5 months old. She taught me how to read, write, more importantly, how to pray. Even my first TV ad. audition: Nina took me. Every parent teacher conference, every school concert she was in the front, always on time, always filling in for my parents. When I was 22, I became pregnant, and I was depressed. Against all odds she said, “I understand you, Mara B. Come home to Zim and Allah will take care of the rest.” After my parents passed on, she filled their shoes again. As I continued to go through the many motions of this career path, many times I sat with her for wisdom, guidance and comfort. All the while she became inseparable from my son. She and Khameel took care of each other, while I was at work… Now, he says “Nina’s in the stars.”
My tears are thick and heavy, once again, as everywhere I look in this house has a memory of her. Maybe I am failing to explain the magnitude of this woman’s love, but she was the heart of my home, you see, and the last standing parent I truly had.
After she buried all her children, her heart was broken beyond repair, and I knew she longed to see them again.. When I pray for her, I ask that Allah take her pain, and remember the extent to which her love healed her children, grand and great. She gave birth to us all and will always be remembered for the courage, love, intelligence and spirituality; she exuded right into her last days.
As I sit here in the chair she sat in every morning, I am reminded that her strength, my mother’s love and my father’s gift run hot through my veins. They are what I am made of, and though all I can do is try to be the best version of myself, I pray I continue to make them proud for the rest of my days.
*Ammartians, I need you to look at the people closest to you and remember that life is short, love is precious and The Almighty is ever present.
Asalaamualaikum Nina. May ALLAH grant you Janaat and join you with your children, finally. I will see you again… God wont keep me waiting for too long. I love you beyond what words will ever explain…
Our hearts go out to Ammara and her family.